Monday, 22 February 2010

Happy "Falentine's" Day...and Other Thoughts!

I just realized my last blog post was five months ago! That's quite a long time. I'm going to blame it on work and utter lack of time. I also promise to blog more regularly from now on.

Anyway, it's almost the end of February...the month of love for many. February that has turned very weird recently with all this hot weather. February...the month I was born in. February of the so-called Falentine's Day.

It dazzles me how much people change...and not just in a matter of years. It can be a matter of months or weeks...or days. Years ago, I used to be in awe of love. I used to look up at love and just be speechless. I think I built all my dreams around it. I thought it was all I needed to become complete...become who I'm meant to be and be happier.

Let's not jump to conclusions: What is love first of all?

Years ago my definition of love was either that of the ultra-romantic, fragile love that for some unknown reason is too perfect to even last so it has to end abruptly, often in tragedy one way or another (the impossible love story). But it doesn't stop there. Oh no! Its sweetness starts there with all the unbearable (sometimes even unimaginable) hollow pain, tears, memories and separation. That torture means something. Question is: Does this pain help us grow? Does it really help us? Or is that what we tell ourselves trying to make it all sound better so we even appear wiser in the process? I mean did people wake up one day and all agree that such type of love stories are supposed to make us stronger, better people? If so, show me some proof!

The second type of love is the illusional idolized type. You imagine someone bigger than they are, better than they are and you dream of them day and night. It starts like that. But be ware, it can keep growing and it can be unstoppable.

That's what I knew of love back then.

Blame it on the media...and those Hollywood movies that depict such types of love. We grow up and our brains soak up all that. Our parents and the authority figures we know don't talk about love or such "mundane" things; so by all means, bring the movies on!

Now years later, I may be the same childish, very romantic person within but I have quite different views of life...and love. Life has taught me a lot. I'm not trying to sound like a know-it-all-seen-it-all smart a**. No, I'm sharing my opinion which could be of some (or a lot of) value to you; so here are my two cents:

Love hurts. A LOT. It's unexplained. It's unexpected. It's very clear. It's strange. It's mysterious. It cruel. It's kind. It's sweet. It's bitter. It's sadness. It's pure joy. It's torture. It's relief. It's nothing. It's everything.

Exactly. No one can figure out love.

I can tell you one thing though: Everyone's version of love is different. Some have dwelled on the bright side; others on the very dark side. So don't let others' stories affect you.

My side of the story is that love is cruelly kind, vaguely clear, sweetly bitter and sadly joyful.

Real love is different. Real love is about two people letting go of their selfishness selflessly for love. Real love is about hanging on, and still knowing your someone is on the other side holding the other side of the rope, even if only ever so lightly. Real love is about understanding, commitment, intuition, communication, patience, and faith...a lot of faith.

What's your definition of love?

Bottom-line is: Don't be a love-victim. Yes, love can be like in the movies. But it's also much different. So, step away from the clouds for a while and give it some thought. Healthy love relationships do exist. Soul mates do exist.

And the first person you need to fall in love with is yourself, no one else. Because once you do, people will do the same. And among them will be the one...the one meant for you.

Which brings me to February again. I don't really celebrate Valentine's Day anymore. Yeah, me...the so very hopelessly-turned-hopefully romantic me. I remember years ago how almost "sacred" it was to me, how so very special it was...the chocolate and red roses and all that. I'm not saying I'm against it now, but I definitely don't like the idea of it turning into such a commercial holiday/parade!

I'd like to think love is something else. There are still gifts involved though. :)

And so happy belated Falentine's Day (with an F)!